Principles for Progress
The “just believe,” “manifest it,” recommendations in mainstream conversations, negates the requirement of hard work and commitment.
I will be the first to admit that I am not a fan of these half-baked, “just believe,” “manifest it,” “think positive” perceptions, when it comes to making change and getting what you want. Part of me is annoyed, and part of me is sad for the people who have at some point been conned into believing that if only they wake up every day and think about the success of their exercise journey, manifesting the thought of movement in their mind, the pounds will melt away. “Oh man, I’m sorry” I want to say, when they come to me with these ideas, “but that will never happen.”
Yes, think about it, and believe in it, be positive about it, but for fu*k’s sake, DO something about it.
Whether it is to make a change in exercise and diet, to start something new and unknown or to take a leap in your career, it’s not going to happen by thoughts alone. Can we all just stop and acknowledge that the mere idea of it alone, sounds ludicrous? That if I just sit here and think about my job and life being better and read a positive quote that I have taped to my wall it will happen? Sometimes I think people lose perspective. So when I hear their story and they can tell me where they want to be and what they want to achieve, the next step is simple: “What are you going to do about it?” I ask.
Here’s the thing: those concepts don’t act alone. You can’t just think positive thoughts, or read positive quotes, or believe what you want and it appears. But they are key players in an equation. An equation of hard work and commitment; a daily grind mixed with believing in yourself, being positive and looking forward to what you want. Most of the time people miss half the equation and expect to get the same outcome.
I am not a perfect example. There have been many instances in my life where I have known what I wanted the outcome to be, but resisted doing the work to get there. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was imposter syndrome, maybe it was just not taking my own advice. While I can say I often get there in the end (too many months of self-doubt later), it’s only because of these main principles that I have set up for myself to follow. Big tasks or small, these are grounding components of the equation that let success follow. These are the principles for progress.
Show Up
There is this pervasive myth that only once you get the motivation can you start; that the reason you haven’t done the hard thing is because you aren’t motivated to do it. Here’s the truth: motivation isn’t going to just show up.
“Motivation is a result not a precondition. You don’t need motivation to break a sweat. Break a sweat and you’ll feel motivated.”
Jeff Haden, The Motivation Myth.
Motivation comes after you start and gain momentum. Mood follows action. If you just commit to showing up and taking the first step, motivation will arrive. It’s like a train gaining speed, that steady chugging pace slowly increasing.
I make myself deals to get started on hard things all the time. When I don’t feel like running, for example, I take five or six kilometres off of the planned distance and say, “you only have to go out and run 10km today instead of 15.” When I know I need to do some writing, but can’t figure out how to start, I write a line or two that I know will end up in the middle and then write the start and ending later. There are probably many examples of this that you can think of in your own life, where the start is hard and if only you could start, the rest would happen. Start by showing up. Take the first step — into the room, on the run, the lines on the keyboard. Showing up is starting.
Courage Over Comfort
I’ve gotten pretty good at being comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s perhaps a cliché and overdone subject, but the merit behind it is that it never gets old, and without work, it never gets better.
I think a lot about our cultural shift away from discomfort, staying only within the boundaries of our comfort zones — sometimes not even intentionally. Things like climate controlled rooms, the internet offering information at our fingertips, food delivered to the door and someone a text message away to complain to. It’s fine, but it doesn’t cultivate the need for courage or to sit in discomfort. It doesn’t foster a need to fight for what you want, be disappointed, put the pieces back together after falling apart. There’s only growth when you come out of the valley and rise to the mountain top. It’s uncomfortable on the way, takes courage to take each step and climb, but how glorious is the view when you get there?
Get tough; get going
I’m no different than most people: when things are hard and uncomfortable, I sometimes want to quit. I am the queen of driving to a trail, parking at the trailhead, and, knowing that I am about to induce suffering and pain on myself, through a long, elevation-rich run, I sit there in my car and procrastinate. Why yes, I do need to send this email, right now, and respond to this message and check that bill payment. Immediately.
Within five or ten minutes of this, I get tired of my own bullshit, annoyed at myself for wasting time and nearly going down some internet search rabbit hole that is definitely not important right now. Tying up my shoes, I remind myself that the sooner I start, the sooner I get to finish and go home to put on my comfy clothes and eat almond butter.
“Get tough,” I say, “get going.”
That may not be your mantra, but find one that is. Find the way you can kick yourself into gear like you would want someone else to do. You can only ever rely on yourself.
Future Self
In addition to relying on myself, I often regularly think about my future self. Not from a judgement perspective, but from a curious perspective. As in, “what would Future Laura think of that?”
Sometimes when something is hard, or I don’t want to do it, or it is just a mundane life task that is easy to push to the side, I remind myself about Future Laura. “Future Laura will really appreciate if you do this now.” For example, when I am low on gas driving home and say, “oh it’s fine, I can get it in the morning on the way to work.” It’s never a good idea. Future Laura will appreciate if you get it now! Other times, when the head trash talk is trying to win me over and convince me I don’t have to do something (i.e. those run mobility exercises), I say, “what would Future Laura want?” Future Laura would be grateful to run, so let’s do the exercises so I don’t get injured.
You can do XYZ for a short time
Future Laura isn’t always strong enough to propel me forward however. Sometimes I have to stay fastidiously present, right in the moment, right at the task at hand. There are times when things are hard, uncomfortable, or just ridiculously tedious, and it seems like they are impossible or will never be finished. For example, in the pain of fighting for a time in the last kilometre of a 5k, or when enduring a particularly monotonous task at work. “You can do anything for 2 minutes,” I tell myself, in these moments.
The time aspect of it is relative, of course — it may be two minutes or twenty minutes — but within that time block, the thing is done. The run interval is over, the task is halfway finished, the hard conversation has started. Twenty seconds of courage to start and then in the big picture, it’s a short time, with a big reward payoff at the end.
Commit
“Hold on,” I said, “commit.”
This is a usual statement I say to myself when I am in the middle of a run workout and it is getting hard and I want to quit. Or it is getting hard and I don’t know if I can maintain the pace to keep going. And whether it is a short thing, like a kilometre, or a long thing, like a task at work, the concept is simple: commit to what you are going to do and then follow it through to the end. Even when it is hard and uncomfortable and you don’t want to, or it might not work out or it might be a complete failure. There is something to be said for finishing what you start and doing what you said you were going to do.
Success and desired outcomes do not have a fast timeline, linear trajectory, or guaranteed level of attainment. Maybe it will happen quickly, with no hurdles, maybe it will take years. Maybe it will be an easy process, maybe it will be riddled with setbacks and struggles. The same principles apply. When you apply them enough, you get used to doing the work that it takes. That’s what you’re doing about it; that’s when you get what you want.
Thanks for reading. If you liked it, I write a weekly newsletter, which you can learn more about on my site.
